The best of the best. Or the best of the worst, depending on how you look at it.
WARNING: You'll probably never want to have sex again after this. But if you do want more, you can click the link at the end of each submission to check out similar stories.
"My friend always tells the story of how her brother and his girlfriend once bought a salad at a gas station so that he could eat it out of her vagina. A few days later she went to the ER with maggots in her vag."
From this post: 12 Sex + Food Horror Stories You Won't Be Able To Unread
"It was my 38th birthday and my friends and I took a bartender home. After things got hot, the dude said, 'You know what I’m really into? Getting eaten out.' My friend Denise wasn’t having it, but I’d done it before and this guy was 100% grade-A beef, so I agreed. He was on his back, and Denise was sitting on his face, so I started working from his balls, to his taint, to his backdoor. As I went to town, he suddenly sharted in my mouth. I immediately sterilized my mouth with a bottle of vodka and left. I haven’t seen any of them since."
From this post: 15 Orgy Horror Stories That'll Make You Quit Sex Forever
"I was giving my high school boyfriend a blow job. When he came I sneezed, and it all flew out of my nose in one long string. Two inches of cum and snot just dangled from my nose. Out of habit, I sniffed like I had a runny nose and it zipped back up into my nostril. We were in hysterics."
From this post: 15 Oral Sex Horror Stories That'll Make You Gag