Stupid How To: DIY Elf Ears!
1. Find a pair of scissors. The sharper the better. The scissors you have from kindergarten should be fine.
2 Score some rubbing alcohol. Take a few shots.
3. Ask yourself, “Do I really want elf ears?” If the answer is no, repeat step 2, possibly alternating shots and bong hits.
4. Cut a triangular chunk out of your upper ear. You should be bleeding at this point.
5. Sterilize a needle with a lighter, thread with fishing line or yarn, and sew your ear back together in the desired shape.
6. Put some tape around your ear to hold it together and prevent strain on the stitches.
7. Repeat steps 4 through 6 for the other ear.
8. Take a picture, preferably topless.
9. If you are a chick, send me that picture. If you are a dude, throw it away, I don’t care about your elf ears.
10. If you are hot, I will marry you.
11. Change your name to Zelda.
[VIA]
