1. Find a pair of scissors. The sharper the better. The scissors you have from kindergarten should be fine.

2 Score some rubbing alcohol. Take a few shots.

3. Ask yourself, “Do I really want elf ears?” If the answer is no, repeat step 2, possibly alternating shots and bong hits.

4. Cut a triangular chunk out of your upper ear. You should be bleeding at this point.

5. Sterilize a needle with a lighter, thread with fishing line or yarn, and sew your ear back together in the desired shape.

6. Put some tape around your ear to hold it together and prevent strain on the stitches.

7. Repeat steps 4 through 6 for the other ear.

8. Take a picture, preferably topless.

9. If you are a chick, send me that picture. If you are a dude, throw it away, I don’t care about your elf ears.

10. If you are hot, I will marry you.

11. Change your name to Zelda.

[VIA]

You find yourself sitting in a hotel room that does not offer wireless internet… As you look out the window, you spot that the three hotels & a Starbucks across the street advertising “Free Wireless Internet” — if only you had known this when you booked! You fire up your wireless card, but the signal just is to weak to keep a consistent connection. What are you going to do?

You’re using “The Predator”. The predator is a modified wireless router connected to a high-powered antenna and running custom firmware to actively seek out open wireless connections. Once they are found, it will test them for internet connectivity and then join and repeat the one with the strongest signal to secured wireless connection that YOU control!

Read the full assembly instructions >>>

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