10 Daily Things

This TV advertisement of Greenpeace is like a punch on the stomach. Raw truth…

Brad Pitt for Pringles

There’s a vague narrative about broken-down cars and white people dancing, but it’s lost in the quasi-Japanese bizarreness of the whole spot. Also, “Pringles: The Fever Reliever?” We’re wary of any product that could share a tagline with Junior Strength MOTRIN.

Matt LeBlanc for Heinz Ketchup

A young, struggling actor with limited range and no visible means of support tries to impress women by dripping condiments off his apartment roof.

Elijah Wood for Pizza Hut

No matter how hard lil’ Elijah’s dad tries, he just can’t cook those hamburgers! They just come out small, shriveled and unsatisfying! Oh man, I bet that’s coming up in the divorce hearings! If only they’d tried this exotic “peet-zah” instead.

Sarah Michelle Gellar for Burger King

A cute Sarah Michelle Gellar discovers that McDonald’s uses a pennyweight’s less meat in its burgers than Burger King. Outraged, she sets out to inform the world, armed with only her crayons and a national, multiplatform marketing campaign.

Keanu Reeves for Corn Flakes

A young Keanu Reeves is stuck in a dead-end job, catering banquets for the leisure class. Only two things sustain him: His love of interpretive dance and how pissed those bourgeoisie cocksuckers will be when they find their caviar replaced with corn flakes.

Paul Rudd for Super Nintendo

Thanks to the infamous “Care Bear Backlash” of the late ’80s, by the time 1990 rolled around, anything marketed to kids had to be “edgy.” Here, the notoriously family-friendly (read: “square”) Nintendo enlists a young Paul Rudd to shake up that wholesome image for their latest product, the “Nintendo Super-Happy, Fun-Time Game Box” (working title).

Meg Ryan for Aim Toothpaste

Meg Ryan’s cheerleader friends give her a an old-fashioned razzing over her “fancy” mint-flavored toothpaste, until it is revealed that Meg’s good oral hygiene has apparently nabbed her a date with the dreamy Jack Reid. (Not revealed in the commercial: Meg puts out like a wolf in heat.)

Seth Green for Nerf

Despite the best efforts of Seth Green’s haircut, Nerf guns are still pretty much the coolest things, ever.

Morgan Freeman for Listerine

Lawdy, mastuh, sho’ is hard being a po’ ol’ telephone repairman. Good thing ‘dis mouthwash is such a powerful concoction! Now, who wants some of Aunt Jemima’s pancakes?

Bruce Willis for Seagram’s Golden Wine Coolers

It’s a classic commercial set up—this product is so great, that the mere thought of using it causes people to start hollering and gyrating like epileptics. Here, a pre-Moonlighting Willis stars as a good ol’ boy who loves his wine coolers so much, that he and his jug band have to start an impromptu porch-front jam session.

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Condom companies make great commercials like these.

This advertisement is really sick. A girl licking the blood came out from the zit of a teenager.

This woman has amazing talented breasts.